A blog reader just sent this to me and she needs our advice as she is confused. Please read below….
“Good evening MA, I am an ardent reader of your blog and I must say that you are doing a great job.. kudos.
I have a problem I will like to share with you because I need the counsel/prayers of you and and my fellow blog readers. It’s a bit lengthy, please bear with me and kindly keep me anonymous.
My fiance and I have a 10months old son together. We were planning our wedding when suddenly he started experiencing financial setbacks in his business. So we had to postpone our marriage plans (tho introduction had already been done) during that period I took in so I had to move in with him ( with hopes that before the baby comes things would have gotten better, then we can have our wedding done immediately our baby comes)
We were happy together, he loved me and he adored his son. A lot of people think we are legally married because of the way he shows me off, respected me. We even had a fight sometime last year because I refused to use his last name (I insisted I wasn’t going to use it till we get married legally) he was very supportive, he was an amazing lover, friend, husband and father but Suddenly around March this year he just changed, he stopped eating my food and stopped coming home (this is someone who will never eat out or sleep out, he never wants me and our son out of his sight). I tried talking to him but he wasn’t ready to listen to me nor change back to his usual self.
Before I knew what was happening, he asked me leave our home that he doesn’t want to be with me again. He wants us to go our separate ways. He couldn’t tell me what I did to offend him, he just doesn’t want to continue the relationship with me. I got his mum involved with hopes that she could help us resolve the issues but instead she supported his decisions(she never really liked me in the first place).
I really love him and I want us to be back together to raise our son but right now I do not know what to do and how to go about it. My son and I have left our home now for close to 4months, we are living with my mum and her husband (my step-dad) living with them hasn’t been easy because my step dad always has a reason to complain about one thing or the other, friends can’t visit me…no freedom, it feels like prison. Getting an apartment would have been the best option for me now but I can’t afford it at the moment because I don’t have a job (I had to leave my job because my fiance wanted me to focus on our son till he’s at least a year+) and I have been taking care of my son alone (my mum has been quite supportive too) no support from his dad or dad’s family since we left home.
I have been looking for a job for months now nothing is coming forth, I have looked for jobs in places I will never have thought of working because I need a means of taking care of my son and myself. I have also tried setting up my cocktail business (I make cocktail drinks for events) clients aren’t coming forth, just promises. It feels like the whole world is against me. I am so depressed, frustrated and sad.My son will be a year old in 2months and it breaks my heart whenever I think about the fact that he will be celebrating his first birthday outside his father’s house and his father may not be present there.
Please ma, I need you to counsel me on what to do now, I really need HELP!!I have tried really hard to move on but I just can’t, I love him too much. Looking at my son everyday reminds me of his father and I can’t seem to get him off my mind. I dreaded the terms ‘single mother’ ‘baby mama’ but here I am in that category. I cry myself to sleep every single night because everything in my life right now aside my son makes me really sad.
I really need help
God bless you ma.”
0lacr
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