This article takes a look at the mistakes that many women make about s*x in their marriage. They include but are not limited to the following:
1. UNDERSTAND WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT S*X IN MARRIAGE
'Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.' 1 Corinthians 7:1-5. You must note the following points in this scripture:
* The bible made it clear that your body belongs to your husband.
* You must not deprive your husband of your body. The only time you can refrain from a s*xual relationship is when you are fasting. Before the fast you are to inform your husband, he is to be aware of your proposed fasting before you go ahead.
* You are to come together again after your fasting so that you will not give advantage to the flesh over your marriage. Please note that 70 days of fasting is not 70 days without s*x except if it is a "marathon" fasting. Fasting is usually From 12 midnight to 6pm, so when you break your fast between the hour of 6:01 to 11:59 satisfy your husband, don't ever engage in long fasting just because you want to avoid s*x with your husband, you may end up hurting yourself so deeply.
2. DON'T FAIL TO SATISFY YOUR HUSBAND
One of the roles of a woman in marriage is to satisfy her husband s*xually. You need to be bold and wise enough to ask your husband whether he is satisfied. Ask him what you can do to satisfy him, then go ahead to do them.
'Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.' Prov. 5:19.
3. A S*XUALLY UNFULFILED MAN IS PRONE TO DANGER.
It is easier to pull down a s*xually unfulfilled man. A man who is s*xually fulfilled by his darling wife will be more difficult to pull down. A man that is not getting the best of s*x at home is a danger going somewhere to happen. Protect your husband from falling. Meet his needs at home and make it impossible for him to fall into error.
4. DON'T GO FOR A DARK COLOUR IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
“Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green. The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir”. Song of Solomon 1:16, 17.
Make s*x lively by making your bed GREEN. Ensure your bed is always green. Your bed must not be RED. A red bed is a s*xless marriage. A YELLOW bed is a marriage where the husband have to struggle, plead, and even fight before having s*x with his wife. It is a marriage where the wife had made calendar for s*x at home.
Finally, your bed must not be BROWN. This is a marriage that is full of s*xual immorality. You must never allow any other man to sleep with you. It is an unrighteous act. It is unholy and unacceptable to God to allow any other man apart from your darling husband to sleep with you.
5. NEVER DARE YOUR HUSBAND TO GO OUT TO LOOK FOR S*X
No matter what happens, never dare your husband to look for s*x elsewhere. Somebody else may cook for him, somebody else may take care of his clothes but you are the only one that is authorized by God to sleep with him. Don't ever allow household chores to sap you of your energy to do what only you can do for him.
6. NEVER COMMIT YOUR HUSBAND INTO THE HANDS OF YOUR HOUSE GIRL
If you allow your maid to be the one that cook your husband meal, wash his cloth, serve his food and generally care for him, you will be opening your husband to temptations in his own house. It may be very hard for him to escape. Your maid should be your assistant, you should not be the one assisting her. Be like the Proverbs 31 woman: 'She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens'. Prov. 31:15.
7. NEVER EMPLOY A HOUSE GIRL THAT IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU
Don't make the mistake of employing a house maid that is more beautiful than you. She may subtly take over your home. Don't employ somebody that will engage you in beauty contest. It may look funny but that is one s*xual mistake that a whole lot of women are making, please fall for it.
8. NEVER HATE S*X IN MARRIAGE
If your husband is like any other man out there you will find it difficult to enjoy him if you hate s*x. As a married woman please bear it in your mind that s*x is part of the package of marriage, you can't be expecting peace in your marriage and be a hater of s*x. Your husband likes it, it is his need and right. You can't afford not to create room in your heart for it with your darling husband.
9. DON'T COMMIT YOUR HUSBAND INTO THE HANDS OF YOUR FRIENDS
If you are travelling don't tell your friends to come to your house to take care of your children on your behalf. It could be the worst decision you ever made, please don't do it.
10. DON'T DISCUSS YOUR S*X LIFE WITH YOUR FRIENDS
A woman told her friends 'my husband is too troublesome, he will not allow me to rest, he is too s*xually active. He wants every night, he is never tired.' That was the information the friend who was s*xually starved in her marriage needs to go after her friend's husband. She eventually snatched the man from her friend. Your s*x life is a private life, discus it only with your husband.
11. DON'T ABANDON IMPROVEMENT OF YOUR BEDROOM LIFE
Read good and clean books about s*x in marriage and know how to give your husband the best. It will be totally bad not to improve your bedroom life. Don't have a lackadaisical attitude towards s*x.
12. NEVER THINK YOUR HUSBAND IS S*XUALLY WIRED LIKE YOU
One big mistake most women make is to think their husband is s*xually wired like them. A lot of women wonder why their husbands are always making a-never-ending-demand of s*x. Some women refer to their husbands as s*x addicts. A woman said 'my husband doesn't think about any other thing apart from s*x.' Another one said 'the life of my husband is zeroed down to the bedroom'.
These women failed to understand that their husbands is not different from any other married man. In every animal group, the male is generally stronger than their female counterpart. Your husband is just being normal by demanding for s*x.
13. NEVER FORGET THAT MEN ARE WEEKLY PEOPLE, WOMEN ARE MONTHLY PEOPLE
Most women want s*x twice or thrice a month, both most men want s*x two or three times a week. So, it is not strange if your husband's s*xual desire is stronger than yours. That is how God made men, that is how it is in most bedrooms, apply wisdom and satisfy your husband.
14. NEVER FORGET THAT MEN ARE VISUAL, WOMEN ARE HEARERS
Men are moved by what they see, women are moved by what they hear and what touches them. Dress your best so that your husband can see the good in you. Catch his eyes so that he will be moved towards you alone.
15. NEVER REJOICE BECAUSE HE DID NOT CALL FOR S*X IN WEEKS
If your husband does not ask for s*x in months, how will you feel? A lot of married women will feel happy or indifferent to it. Many married women even wish God will remove the s*xual aspect of their marriage.
S*x is what makes marriage different from other relationships. S*x is what makes you different from the other women in his life. So, if he does not ask you out in bed for two weeks you should ask questions. If he does not ask you out in the bed for three weeks you should be worried, maybe he has another solution outside. It is not a testimony if your husband does not bother you for s*x for weeks, it may have great consequences.
16. DON'T USE PREGNANCY AS AN EXCUSE
Don't ever use pregnancy as an excuse to deprive him of your body. Pregnancy is not a reason for s*xual denial, you are the one that is pregnant, your husband is not pregnant. Look for different ways of having s*x as the pregnancy advances.
17. NEVER USE BREAST FEEDING AS AN EXCUSE
Breast feeding a baby is not a good reason to neglect your husband. Having s*x while breast feeding a baby does not pose any health risk to your baby. Feel free to enjoy s*x with your husband and nurture your baby.
18. DON'T USE FASTING AS AN EXCUSE
Forty days of fasting does not mean forty days without s*x for your husband. See what the Bible says: 'Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 1 Cor. 7:5.
What this scripture says is that you must inform your husband ahead of time when you want to fast. Your fasting must be with his consent. You should make s*x part of your fasting plan. You must ensure you have s*x after breaking your fast or before you start. If you use fast to deprive of your body for forty days, four hundred days of fasting may not win him back later.
19. NEVER USE S*X AS A PUNISHMENT
S*x is not one way to punish him for his offense. Your body is not yours, it belongs to him according to the Bible. You cannot deny him what is rightly his because you are angry. It is not right.
20. NEVER USE S*X AS A MEANS OF EXCHANGE
You are also not permitted to use s*x as a tool for bargaining. It is very wrong to use s*x in order to get something from your husband. You are not a prostitute, don't insist on being paid or do something for you before s*x. If you do that, he may not see the reason why he can't also pay for it outside.
21. NEVER FAIL TO INVOLVE S*X IN YOUR MARRIAGE
S*x is not just about your husband, don't fail to be involved in it, initiate it often. Be involved during the fore-play and be very active during the actual s*xual performance, don't be dry and drab at home. Be his lover girl.
22. NEVER SAY: IS IT FOOD?
Avoid asking your husband 'is it food.' It will make him look like a s*x maniac. As a man, his demand will naturally be stronger than your own. Your husband's demand is not strange. Plan to fit into his physiological make up.
23: DON'T MAKE CALENDAR FOR S*X IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Don't be a calendar wife, don't make calendar for sex in your marriage. Some calendar wives will say it can only take place on Friday or other days fixed by them. Let s*x happen spontaneously in your marriage.
24. DON'T FORGET S*X IS PARAMOUNT TO YOUR HUSBAND'S WELL BEING
S*x is paramount to your husband's needs. The first thing he needs is respect, the second thing is sex. Give him your best and make him happy. To a man, s*x is not just part of marriage it is the real show. Be wise and handle this wisely.
25. NEVER FAIL TO BE A GENEROUS WIFE
For a man to say his wife is a very, very good wife, she must have been generous in the bedroom. Go the extra mile in satisfying your husband.
26. NEVER BE AN ANALOG WIFE TO A DIGITAL HUSBAND
Study your husband and give him what he wants; the way he wants it. Don't be an analog wife to a digital husband. Study when his desire for s*x is high and stand up to the task.
27. NEVER BECOME UNROMANTIC AND UNINTERESTING
Don't lose your flavour. Don't become uninteresting. It is very dangerous for your marriage.
28. NEVER FAIL TO REMEMBER THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS BORN AGAIN BUT HE IS NOT BLIND AGAIN.
Dress very well, be fashionable but not immoral. Don't take your husband for granted with your dressing because he is born again. Every man desires a very tantalizing lady around him. If your husband is born again he is not blind again; dress very well.
29. NEVER FAIL TO PURSUE YOUR HUSBAND
Don't just wait for him to pursue you, be inviting, be interesting, excite him at times by being seductive to him. Invite him to sleep with you or better still, seduce him. He is your husband and you are doing the right thing, no sin committed.
30. UNDERSTAND YOUR HUSBAND'S S*XUAL NEEDS AND MEET THEM.
Study your husband as if you will write a book on him. Carefully observe him and meet his needs.
31. NEVER FORGET THAT OUTING WEARS ARE DIFFERENT FROM BEDROOM WEARS
Outing wears are not the same as bedroom wears. Dress up when you are going out; dress down when you come to bed. Don't take that jeans knicker to bed, it is not bedroom compliant. Get a good night wear, the one they call 'open heaven'; 'the more you look the more you see.' Put on this one when you are alone with your darling husband and turn your marriage around.
- Pastor Bisi Adewale
* The bible made it clear that your body belongs to your husband.
* You must not deprive your husband of your body. The only time you can refrain from a s*xual relationship is when you are fasting. Before the fast you are to inform your husband, he is to be aware of your proposed fasting before you go ahead.
* You are to come together again after your fasting so that you will not give advantage to the flesh over your marriage. Please note that 70 days of fasting is not 70 days without s*x except if it is a "marathon" fasting. Fasting is usually From 12 midnight to 6pm, so when you break your fast between the hour of 6:01 to 11:59 satisfy your husband, don't ever engage in long fasting just because you want to avoid s*x with your husband, you may end up hurting yourself so deeply.
2. DON'T FAIL TO SATISFY YOUR HUSBAND
One of the roles of a woman in marriage is to satisfy her husband s*xually. You need to be bold and wise enough to ask your husband whether he is satisfied. Ask him what you can do to satisfy him, then go ahead to do them.
'Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.' Prov. 5:19.
3. A S*XUALLY UNFULFILED MAN IS PRONE TO DANGER.
It is easier to pull down a s*xually unfulfilled man. A man who is s*xually fulfilled by his darling wife will be more difficult to pull down. A man that is not getting the best of s*x at home is a danger going somewhere to happen. Protect your husband from falling. Meet his needs at home and make it impossible for him to fall into error.
4. DON'T GO FOR A DARK COLOUR IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
“Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green. The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir”. Song of Solomon 1:16, 17.
Make s*x lively by making your bed GREEN. Ensure your bed is always green. Your bed must not be RED. A red bed is a s*xless marriage. A YELLOW bed is a marriage where the husband have to struggle, plead, and even fight before having s*x with his wife. It is a marriage where the wife had made calendar for s*x at home.
Finally, your bed must not be BROWN. This is a marriage that is full of s*xual immorality. You must never allow any other man to sleep with you. It is an unrighteous act. It is unholy and unacceptable to God to allow any other man apart from your darling husband to sleep with you.
5. NEVER DARE YOUR HUSBAND TO GO OUT TO LOOK FOR S*X
No matter what happens, never dare your husband to look for s*x elsewhere. Somebody else may cook for him, somebody else may take care of his clothes but you are the only one that is authorized by God to sleep with him. Don't ever allow household chores to sap you of your energy to do what only you can do for him.
6. NEVER COMMIT YOUR HUSBAND INTO THE HANDS OF YOUR HOUSE GIRL
If you allow your maid to be the one that cook your husband meal, wash his cloth, serve his food and generally care for him, you will be opening your husband to temptations in his own house. It may be very hard for him to escape. Your maid should be your assistant, you should not be the one assisting her. Be like the Proverbs 31 woman: 'She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens'. Prov. 31:15.
7. NEVER EMPLOY A HOUSE GIRL THAT IS MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU
Don't make the mistake of employing a house maid that is more beautiful than you. She may subtly take over your home. Don't employ somebody that will engage you in beauty contest. It may look funny but that is one s*xual mistake that a whole lot of women are making, please fall for it.
8. NEVER HATE S*X IN MARRIAGE
If your husband is like any other man out there you will find it difficult to enjoy him if you hate s*x. As a married woman please bear it in your mind that s*x is part of the package of marriage, you can't be expecting peace in your marriage and be a hater of s*x. Your husband likes it, it is his need and right. You can't afford not to create room in your heart for it with your darling husband.
9. DON'T COMMIT YOUR HUSBAND INTO THE HANDS OF YOUR FRIENDS
If you are travelling don't tell your friends to come to your house to take care of your children on your behalf. It could be the worst decision you ever made, please don't do it.
10. DON'T DISCUSS YOUR S*X LIFE WITH YOUR FRIENDS
A woman told her friends 'my husband is too troublesome, he will not allow me to rest, he is too s*xually active. He wants every night, he is never tired.' That was the information the friend who was s*xually starved in her marriage needs to go after her friend's husband. She eventually snatched the man from her friend. Your s*x life is a private life, discus it only with your husband.
11. DON'T ABANDON IMPROVEMENT OF YOUR BEDROOM LIFE
Read good and clean books about s*x in marriage and know how to give your husband the best. It will be totally bad not to improve your bedroom life. Don't have a lackadaisical attitude towards s*x.
12. NEVER THINK YOUR HUSBAND IS S*XUALLY WIRED LIKE YOU
One big mistake most women make is to think their husband is s*xually wired like them. A lot of women wonder why their husbands are always making a-never-ending-demand of s*x. Some women refer to their husbands as s*x addicts. A woman said 'my husband doesn't think about any other thing apart from s*x.' Another one said 'the life of my husband is zeroed down to the bedroom'.
These women failed to understand that their husbands is not different from any other married man. In every animal group, the male is generally stronger than their female counterpart. Your husband is just being normal by demanding for s*x.
13. NEVER FORGET THAT MEN ARE WEEKLY PEOPLE, WOMEN ARE MONTHLY PEOPLE
Most women want s*x twice or thrice a month, both most men want s*x two or three times a week. So, it is not strange if your husband's s*xual desire is stronger than yours. That is how God made men, that is how it is in most bedrooms, apply wisdom and satisfy your husband.
14. NEVER FORGET THAT MEN ARE VISUAL, WOMEN ARE HEARERS
Men are moved by what they see, women are moved by what they hear and what touches them. Dress your best so that your husband can see the good in you. Catch his eyes so that he will be moved towards you alone.
15. NEVER REJOICE BECAUSE HE DID NOT CALL FOR S*X IN WEEKS
If your husband does not ask for s*x in months, how will you feel? A lot of married women will feel happy or indifferent to it. Many married women even wish God will remove the s*xual aspect of their marriage.
S*x is what makes marriage different from other relationships. S*x is what makes you different from the other women in his life. So, if he does not ask you out in bed for two weeks you should ask questions. If he does not ask you out in the bed for three weeks you should be worried, maybe he has another solution outside. It is not a testimony if your husband does not bother you for s*x for weeks, it may have great consequences.
16. DON'T USE PREGNANCY AS AN EXCUSE
Don't ever use pregnancy as an excuse to deprive him of your body. Pregnancy is not a reason for s*xual denial, you are the one that is pregnant, your husband is not pregnant. Look for different ways of having s*x as the pregnancy advances.
17. NEVER USE BREAST FEEDING AS AN EXCUSE
Breast feeding a baby is not a good reason to neglect your husband. Having s*x while breast feeding a baby does not pose any health risk to your baby. Feel free to enjoy s*x with your husband and nurture your baby.
18. DON'T USE FASTING AS AN EXCUSE
Forty days of fasting does not mean forty days without s*x for your husband. See what the Bible says: 'Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. 1 Cor. 7:5.
What this scripture says is that you must inform your husband ahead of time when you want to fast. Your fasting must be with his consent. You should make s*x part of your fasting plan. You must ensure you have s*x after breaking your fast or before you start. If you use fast to deprive of your body for forty days, four hundred days of fasting may not win him back later.
19. NEVER USE S*X AS A PUNISHMENT
S*x is not one way to punish him for his offense. Your body is not yours, it belongs to him according to the Bible. You cannot deny him what is rightly his because you are angry. It is not right.
20. NEVER USE S*X AS A MEANS OF EXCHANGE
You are also not permitted to use s*x as a tool for bargaining. It is very wrong to use s*x in order to get something from your husband. You are not a prostitute, don't insist on being paid or do something for you before s*x. If you do that, he may not see the reason why he can't also pay for it outside.
21. NEVER FAIL TO INVOLVE S*X IN YOUR MARRIAGE
S*x is not just about your husband, don't fail to be involved in it, initiate it often. Be involved during the fore-play and be very active during the actual s*xual performance, don't be dry and drab at home. Be his lover girl.
22. NEVER SAY: IS IT FOOD?
Avoid asking your husband 'is it food.' It will make him look like a s*x maniac. As a man, his demand will naturally be stronger than your own. Your husband's demand is not strange. Plan to fit into his physiological make up.
23: DON'T MAKE CALENDAR FOR S*X IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Don't be a calendar wife, don't make calendar for sex in your marriage. Some calendar wives will say it can only take place on Friday or other days fixed by them. Let s*x happen spontaneously in your marriage.
24. DON'T FORGET S*X IS PARAMOUNT TO YOUR HUSBAND'S WELL BEING
S*x is paramount to your husband's needs. The first thing he needs is respect, the second thing is sex. Give him your best and make him happy. To a man, s*x is not just part of marriage it is the real show. Be wise and handle this wisely.
25. NEVER FAIL TO BE A GENEROUS WIFE
For a man to say his wife is a very, very good wife, she must have been generous in the bedroom. Go the extra mile in satisfying your husband.
26. NEVER BE AN ANALOG WIFE TO A DIGITAL HUSBAND
Study your husband and give him what he wants; the way he wants it. Don't be an analog wife to a digital husband. Study when his desire for s*x is high and stand up to the task.
27. NEVER BECOME UNROMANTIC AND UNINTERESTING
Don't lose your flavour. Don't become uninteresting. It is very dangerous for your marriage.
28. NEVER FAIL TO REMEMBER THAT YOUR HUSBAND IS BORN AGAIN BUT HE IS NOT BLIND AGAIN.
Dress very well, be fashionable but not immoral. Don't take your husband for granted with your dressing because he is born again. Every man desires a very tantalizing lady around him. If your husband is born again he is not blind again; dress very well.
29. NEVER FAIL TO PURSUE YOUR HUSBAND
Don't just wait for him to pursue you, be inviting, be interesting, excite him at times by being seductive to him. Invite him to sleep with you or better still, seduce him. He is your husband and you are doing the right thing, no sin committed.
30. UNDERSTAND YOUR HUSBAND'S S*XUAL NEEDS AND MEET THEM.
Study your husband as if you will write a book on him. Carefully observe him and meet his needs.
31. NEVER FORGET THAT OUTING WEARS ARE DIFFERENT FROM BEDROOM WEARS
Outing wears are not the same as bedroom wears. Dress up when you are going out; dress down when you come to bed. Don't take that jeans knicker to bed, it is not bedroom compliant. Get a good night wear, the one they call 'open heaven'; 'the more you look the more you see.' Put on this one when you are alone with your darling husband and turn your marriage around.
- Pastor Bisi Adewale
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